I have been thinking and thinking about why lizards are so rude. I think I have figured out 13 reasons why lizards act bad all the time:
- Because lizard skin purses and shoes are in fashion right now.
- Their tails fall off, at the slightest touch! I have not lost my tail, even once.
- Maybe they are sad because they do not have a soft fur coat like mine.
- I have never seen any lizard toys. I would be in a bad mood too if I did not have any toys.
- Because they have to live outside, even though they are always trying to sneak into my house.
- I think they must be very disappointed that there are no cute lizard fashions for them to wear. Maybe the lizards would be nicer if they had a cute poodle skirt to wear. I know it made me happy.
- I do not think they have any friends. I only see single lizards.
- There is the slight possibility that they are upset about the Lizard Stew I made.
- They have to run around hunting bugs. I like to hunt bugs, but I also have a big bowl of stinky goodness AND crunchies for whenever I get hungry.
- Maybe their Mommies never taught them any manners.
- They might still be a little bit mad that I posted a Lizard Hunting Guide for Cats.
- There are not any good TV shows about lizards. I do not think they enjoy watching Crocodile Hunter.
- I think they could have just been born bad. In that case, it is not really their fault.
Just in case you have any doubts, here is a short documentary I made proving that lizards are BAD: